Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
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