shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
