She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
