I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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