we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
