That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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