You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
