You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
