he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
