You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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