question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
