he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
