You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
