we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
