I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
