i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
no. you can't hotbox the world.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
