You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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