Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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