So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
