I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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