she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
