you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
