My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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