why didn't you poke me back
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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