u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
