and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
how drunk are you?
Several
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
