Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
