Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
