I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
