I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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