Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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