Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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