It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
