I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
porn star boner night. come get it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
