Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
