? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
