I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
In America we eat man semen.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
