shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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