It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
