There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
