soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is Oprah even human
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
