i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
my liver is dry heaving
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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