Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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