My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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