i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
