she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
