M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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