You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
