Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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