your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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