How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Nicole vs. Life
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
