ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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